Hey,
Having a healthy and open mind about it is good. You could try to meditate on what it is or what it feels like to be 'drawn' to the ssp stuff.
I use to be drawn to it _a lot_ as well, and I would be a bit obsessive in watching all these interviews. At some point I began wondering if I maybe somehow had something to do with it. But I thought I just had an issue with my ego. Then I tried testing it with muscle testing and meditation, but I never really was able to be sure about the results of those tests, as they would often differ from day to day. I just ended up getting confirmation from a psychic(s). I found it really hard to figure that one out all by myself. I think it is a difficult thing to figure out, because I feel a part of me still doesn't want to 'really know' what happened, and that will play a role too.
But yeah, if you ever had extremely intense nightmares that make you feel like you are a demon or a serial killer... you might want to look into it... Or if you remember having a dream as a child that felt like you were away for ages. But too be honest, they weren't enough 'indication' for me for a long time either. The programming is strong in this one. I think most people will probably not break through their programming anyway, so I don't think it will be as 'telling' for most people as it was for those who talk about it in public. Even though it must have been hard to for them as well. But yeah, I too didn't have the 'obvious signs'.
You could try to say to yourself that you _were_ part of the ssp, and then look at how it feels to you. If it feels 'freeing' to say that, you might want to look in to it. If not, than no big deal, nobody is judging you for testing your feelings.
About the only fruit thing. Yeah, I tried the fruitarian thing about 1,5 years or so. Also (raw) veganism for longer. Unfortunately I ended up having health issues from it that were probably mostly from 'believing in it' too much, and thereby taking it further than my body could handle it. But as a non-permanent thing, I guess it could be a good thing, just like fasts are. In the end, you never _really_ know what is right for you or not in our society, so I can only applaud it when you try it out yourself. But yeah, from my own experience I side with penny on this. I do find my body needs meat. But these are just my 2 cents.